Happy New Year! Hope everyone had a lovely and/or debaucherous night, depending on what you wanted. I personally stayed in with Linds, whom I have officially been best friends with for an entire decade now. We watched the first three episodes of Freaks and Geeks, which is pretty good so far. I remember watching it when it first came out (a decade ago, incidentally) and I was thirteen, and a lot of things definitely flew over my head back then. The weed jokes, for instance, and most of the excellent 70s rock references, and pretty much all of the irony.

This morning I’m up by myself because for some reason I can’t sleep past 9:00 AM anymore. It’s nice and quiet, and it’s given me some time to think about my New Year’s resolutions. Here are the ones I came up with:

• I resolve to make movement/physical activity a priority in my life.
• I resolve to make healthy eating a habit, and particularly to eat more whole foods and less processed foods.
• I resolve to take sustainable living more seriously — recycle more aggressively, unplug my appliances, chargers, and adapters when I’m not using them, stop idling my car in parking lots, waste less water, and to do all of the other things that I believe are helpful to sustaining resources but I let fall to the wayside because of habit.
• I resolve to use the many forms of technology I have at my disposal — email, Facebook, Twitter, texting, etc. — to reach out more often to the friends and family I don’t get to see on a regular basis.
• I resolve to be a better pet-owner to Huxley the hedgehog.
• I resolve to take as many steps as I can to moving out of my parents’ house and becoming independent: saving my small paycheck, putting extra effort in at work so they continue to express that they’d like to bring me on full-time, speaking to the director myself about wanting very badly to keep working for the library, and any other opportunities that may pop up.
• I resolve to branch out my reading to children’s literature and juvenile fiction, and of course, to keep reading and writing about Young Adult fiction.

I’ve grown a lot in the past couple of months, and I don’t think this space reflects that.  I’m not sure who it is that I’m becoming, but I need my blog to be as open-ended as my future. So here’s the latest incarnation:  meloogal, no tagline, no accompanying witticisms — Just Me. I hope you like it!

Confession time:  I am kind of a Scrooge. I do get into it right after Thanksgiving because it’s kind of like ZOMG CHRISTMAS TIME COMES ONLY ONE A YEEEEAR and I’m all hopped up on Christmas music ear crack.  Then once it’s close to the actual day, I pull away, cause maybe I can sense that Christmas is about to break up with me and I think that if I distance myself from it, I won’t get hurt too much.

So in the past couple days I said a lot of nasty things, like, “It’s just one day!” and “I don’t even care that much about presents!” and “This holiday is throwing off my much-improved eating habits!” I felt a distinct sense of dread about having to drive all the way to almost-New-York-New-Jersey to go to a loud and probably boring Christmas party, and then stay overnight in a gross Comfort Inn and get up before 9 to drive back home. Additionally, in my lifetime I have only ever received, say, 3 presents from a relative that wasn’t a sort of generic girl gift, so it’s not like I might at least get excited about Cool Free Stuff Maybe.

But you know what? Aside from a few things (the Comfort Inn was gross, my aunt sprung a surprise religious service on us, my uncle sprung a surprise holiday sing-along on us, the holiday did undermine my common-sense eating concept), Christmas sorta rocked this year!

And it’s not just because of the presents.

Okay, it’s mainly because of the presents. In fact, I’m probably going to devote a whole entry to discussing the awesomeness of the presents I got this year.

It also rocked because watching our dog tackle a piece of gift-wrapped bacon is hilarious. Because opening presents on Christmas morning never fails to make my heart pound like it did when I was five. Because Cool Free Stuff can put anyone in a good mood. Because traditions activate deep-rooted feelings of belonging and stability in me, and that’s why I secretly love family get-togethers, and openly hate when we break from tradition (AND HAVE SUPRISE RELIGIOUS SERVICES OR SING-ALONGS).

(….what?)

And on top of it all, I did my weekly weigh-in this morning and I actually lost 1.6 lbs! BOO-YA!

I hope everyone had a super holiday, or at the very least a decent weekend! Stay tuned for some wanton materialism (and a very cute pair of boots)!

According to Lindsay, since I haven’t gone to sleep yet, it’s still Wednesday. Hm.

So I failed my first attempt at my prime objective: blog every Wednesday and Friday, starting with this one. But I completely pwned my other prime objective: APPLY TO GRAD SCHOOL BITCHES!

Okay, so I still have to report my GRE scores. But everything else is in! I spent an agonizing four hours working on my personal statement, and I still kind of don’t know if I did it right, but it’s out of my hands now.

Also I have work at 9:30 tomorrow. Aheh. Heh. Heh.

OH! Linds gave me a ridiculous present that fulfills my creepy obsession with collecting Alice In Wonderland stuff! I’ll take a picture of it and post it on Friday!

Christmas is so soon I can’t believe it! Tomorrow I am accompanying a singer at the 4:00 PM mass and I haven’t even put the music together yet. Probably a mistake. Also, it’s 5:07 AM. Why am I awake? Who are you? IS THIS REAL LIFE?

I once read a tip about being an awesome blogger, written by someone who pretty much was an awesome blogger. Never apologize for forgetting to blog, he said. That shit’s amateur.

Well, I’m sorry, Chris from the now-defunct survivingmyself. I’ve tried to take your advice to heart all these years. But I guess I’m just not Award-Nominated blogger material. I’m me. And I’m gonna get all meta on y’all and address the fact that I’m sort of sucking at blogging.

I guess I’ve just been a little distracted. With typical life stuff, yes, like going to work and being sorta tired when I get home but feeling like with the energy I do have, I should try to do exciting things, like go shopping with my sister, or watch Gladiator with Matt.

(Side note: Joaquin Phoenix, how do you manage to be both completely smokin’ hot AND a pallid, hare-lipped fug at different points in the same movie? Heck, let’s be honest, at different points in the same scene? It’s confusing me.)

I’ve also been distracted by: finally watching the last four episodes of Glee, devouring Liar by Justine Larbalestier and The Hunger Games and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins, celebrating Matt finally getting a Real Life Job (yay!), going to my sister’s high school choir concert, and Christmas shopping/decorating/squee-ing.

And then on top of that, I’m entertaining all sorts of wild fantasies about starting up a new blog devoted to YA book reviews, and also about incorporating vlogging into this blog and the imaginary YA books vlog. But it’s kind of like, hon you can’t even remember to ACTUALLY blog, so let’s not bring live action into the picture here.

(And need I remind myself that my artificial deadline for my graduate school applications passed over two weeks ago, and I’m seriously needing to pay some attention to that? I don’t need to be thinking about video cameras, I need to focus on My Personal View Of The Library and What Strengths I’d Bring To A Program of Graduate-Level Study.)

(BUT I JUST READ KIRKUS REVIEW’S BEST BOOKS OF 2009 LIST, AND DAMMIT, I WANT TO VIDEOTAPE MYSELF TALKING ABOUT IT!)

(I’m telling myself this is a good sign. The fact that I’m obsessed with YA and Children’s literature means that one day I’ll make a really good Youth Services librarian, because I have a genuine interest in the materials that youths read. The flaw in my logic is that if I don’t get on my apps like NOW, I won’t ever be eligible to be a Youth Services librarian.)

(But I digress.)

I’m kind of at a standstill with this blog. I want to blog more often — maybe to have a regular schedule — but I can only come up with the motivation when it’s been so long since I posted that the guilt is sort of crushing me. Oh, wait. I think there’s a word for that. Procrastination. It’s like the only way I can ever get anything done is to wait for it to be looming and scary. That was my M.O. for studying in high school, and for research papers in college, and now that’s how it’s gonna be for grad school apps and blog entries, apparently!

Well, I’m sick of it! I’m giving myself a Challenge, and the terms are clear.  I WILL finish my graduate school applications by Thursday, Christmas Eve. (Actually, I’ve just made a fast little checklist, and I realized that the only thing I have left to do for my grad school apps is to tweak my resume and write the essay, so it’s not as big of a deal as I’ve made it out to be. I swear I’m a really efficient writer! I just suck at getting started!)

Furthermore, I promise to blog at least every Wednesday and Friday (including the upcoming holidays) for the next six months! And you all heard me, so you all get to hold me accountable.

So, wish me luck on the Banish Blog Procrastination Challenge. I’m getting started early on my New Year’s resolutions. And I’m gonna completely kick ass. WOO!

So the last time I got a haircut was in June. Yeeeeeah.

I called a local salon this morning just to find out what their hours were and ended up making an appointment for 10:30  with Christie, who looks like Audrina from The Hills.

(Interpret that detail as you will.)

This place was classy. They had an elevator! I was offered refreshments. The receptionist took my coat. While I waited for Christie, I sat on a divan!

(Not pictured: me in sweatpants.)

Then it was down to brass tacks. I told Christie what I wanted: tons and tons of top-heavy layers, kind of like a shag but less mullet-y, please. And bangs. Full, sideswept bangs. She washed my hair (mmmmm.) and started snipping away.

So, here’s the picture I showed her:

And here’s my hair:

Some thoughts:

• The “bangs” look more to me like “I don’t want you to hate me so I’ll just cut you a really really short angle near your eyebrow.” Do I have a different definition of bangs than every stylist, ever?
• This is officially The Best Blowout I’ve Ever Had. It’s all sleek and silky and not overly volumized and flipped-under-and-out like SOME places do it (coughHairShitterycough)
• Christie also wins Technical Points for cutting my hair ridiculously evenly, all around. You can really see it in the first picture. Again, I’m used to SOME PLACES where the stylists don’t seem to understand the concept of cutting in a straight line.
• Okay, obviously it’s not really what I asked for. I’m kinda pissed about that.
• Nonetheless I’m really liking it. I never would have gone for a medium length bob because in my mind, That Haircut Is For White People Hair. I’m probably going to have to style the shit out of this every morning from now on, but it might be worth it to look this adorable on a regular basis.

Thoughts? Comments?

P.S. Do you LOVE how my last post is all about like racism and bigotry and then I disappear for 6 days and then I come back all “SHALLOW SHALLOW SHALLOW” on you? You know you do.

Today, the Pathetic Hate Group That I Won’t Even Honor By Referring To By Name held their tiny little protest outside a few sites in my hometown.

They were countered by a group of young people holding signs saying awesome things like “What Would Dumbledore do?” and “God loves everyone — God even loves ignorant people from sad hate groups.”

Here’s a slideshow of some photographs taken by our newspaper.

I still maintain that the best thing would have been to leave the dummies out in the cold for their short 30 minute “protest,” noticed by no one and countered by no one. Because by taking a stand against this ridiculous group, the kids actually brought media to the scene — which is what the Stupid Hatemongers Whose Official Name I Still Refuse To Type wanted in the first place.

However, I have to admit, I’m pretty proud of the high school students who took the time to stand up for acceptance and tolerance (my little sister’s friends Amanda and Andrew are actually in one of the pictures). I’m often worried about the younger generation’s grasp on What Really Matters. I’ve known quite a few teenagers whose worldview expands no further than hair straightening, mall-trolling, and Facebook flirting.

Seeing the young faces in those photos, though, I feel like maybe there’s hope for us yet.

Here’s the YA fic I’ve read in the past couple weeks:

Looking For Alaska, John Green

I expected a lot out of this book, and I got plenty. The premise of the story is simple: Miles, tired of his adequate life, gives it up to seek a “Great Perhaps” at Culver Creek Boarding School in Alabama. He’s quickly indoctrinated into a ragtag crew of misfits led by the enigmatic and completely beautiful Alaska Young; they spend the majority of their time smoking cigarettes, hating on the rich kids, exploring their burgeoning sexual appetites, and playing prank after harmless prank — but then (OF COURSE) tragedy strikes, and the book becomes so much more than a modern “Stand By Me.” Looking for Alaska is a slow-burning revelation on grief and loss, a book that provides the reader “ample space to think — really think — about what it means to be alive and present in the world” (Teenreads.com).

And that’s all I can really say about the plot. I will say that as an adult, I related to Paper Towns better than Alaska. But the more space I get from this book, the more it quietly etches its message into my heart.

Peeps, Scott Westerfeld

This book is based on such a cool idea: using the science of parasites to validate the possibility of vampirism. Infected humans are known as “peeps” or parasite positives. Peeps slowly become sensitive to light and form a strange bond with rats (and sometimes bats).  They turn fearful of everything they used to love. They feel the constant urge to mate. And of course, they develop lightning-fast metabolisms that grant them animal quickness and an insatiable hunger for meat — particularly human meat.

This book actually made me understand the appeal of vampire-themed fiction. It’s told from the point of view of Cal, who has a rare strain of the disease where he carries the parasite but doesn’t exhibit the grisly side effects. He can, however, transfer it to anyone, even by just kissing them — and the person he infects will turn full-on peep. So Cal spends distracts himself from relationships by focusing on his job as a Peep Hunter and hanging out with his cat. But when he crosses paths with (OF COURSE) an irresistible girl named Lace, he finds himself struggling to control himself. I found this aspect of the book quite riveting — there were times I sort of wished Cal would give into the parasite, and just go ahead and properly ravish Lace. Alas, Scott Westerfeld write sci-fi and not romance, and so the two of them end up discovering this dangerous underground secret and saving the day, instead of Doing It. Which is okay! I didn’t mind that! But now I need some juicy vamp romance book suggestions. Anyone? Anyone?

13 Reasons Why, Jay Asher

This book gave me that so-sad-my-heart-is-literally-hurting feeling the whole time I was reading it. It’s such a simple story: Clay comes home from school to find a package on his doorstep with no return address. Inside the package are thirteen cassette tapes. Recorded on the cassette tapes is the voice of Hannah Baker, Clay’s classmate and longtime crush, who had committed suicide weeks earlier. From beyond the grave, Hannah takes Clay on an emotional and literal journey around their hometown, as she helps to explain, tape by tape, why she killed herself.

I know. It was completely intense. Maybe too intense. There were some parts of the book where I felt like might actually vomit. But teens freaking LOVE it. This book was on the NY Times YA Bestseller list. It gets taken out of the library like, every week. And I can see why. It’s this raw, emotional outpouring from a girl who pretended to be happy when she was collapsing on the inside. And who can’t relate to that sometimes?

Here are the YA books I’m hoping to read next:

Liar, Justine Larbalestier
Eyes Like Stars, Lisa Mantchev
Geektastic: Stories from the Nerd Herd, ed. Holly Black

Everyone have a super weekend! I’m going SHOPPING TODAY WHEEE.

Have you heard of the Westboro Baptist Church? I guess it’s technically a church, located in Topeka, Kansas. But it’s chiefly an anti-gay, anti-Semitic, anti-Catholic, anti-Protestant, anti-Islam, anti-Hindu, anti-America (I am not joking), anti-Australia (still not joking!) hate group.

They’re coming to my hometown next week, to protest… my high school. Just to protest It Existing. I guess because we have quite a large population of Jewish families here, and because if you live in a township this large, some students are bound to be gay, Catholic, Protestant, Muslim, Hindu, and hell, maybe even Australian as well. They’ve done this at other high schools before. And it’s well within their constitutional allowances — the right to assemble.

It’s been said that this group’s true goal is to attract attention, and that the best way to counter their Crazy is to ignore them altogether. And part of me wants to dismiss this news, to just shrug it off and focus my energy on something less inane, something more worthy of my attention.

But bigotry freaks me out so much. I’m sitting here inordinately upset that people in this country, under the First Amendment, have a right to express hatred so freely, that they can no more be punished for hating Jewish/gay/Catholic/Australian people than I can for supporting them.  Every part of me rejects the logic that says there isn’t a difference between those two things.

I completely do not understand. How can hate be protected? How can these people come with the express purpose of terrorizing and intimidating underage high school students, and not be arrested and penalized on the spot?

I’m not even sure what to say at this point. I’d ask you to keep my sister and the students in your thoughts on Monday, but then I’d also have to ask you to keep the image of these protesters being encouraged, perhaps via red-hot-poker-wielded-by-Jayne-Cobb, to welcome the words “tolerance” and “empathy” into their vocabularies … in your thoughts … on Monday.

Above all else, I guess I want to take this opportunity to remind the people I have the biggest chance of influencing (that’s you guys!) to be tolerant and have empathy, even more so than usual. Maybe if we all put a little more out there, we’ll cancel out the Crazy.

Hi, Blog.

Look… Look, I’m sorry I didn’t call. It’s been a really crazy week or so and — ah, well, I’ve been off celebrating Thanksgiving and catching my cousins up on the last four years of my life, and meeting my cousin K’s fiance’s family, and playing Uproarious Games of Catch Phrase and Intensely Focused Games of Bananagrams with my awesome friends, and shopping for Christmas/holiday presents…

…yes, I realize I could have found just a couple minutes in the day to reach out to you. I’m sorry I didn’t. But… but I’m here now, aren’t I? That’s got to count for something!

Oh, Blog. I’ve missed you so. I promise I’ll never ever leave you so abruptly again! [coughuntilthenextmajorholidayorstringofeventfuldayscough]