mall haiku

On Hipster Paraphernalia
Listen, Urban Out
fitters: Polaroids are not
“retro.” They’re just old.

On Too Much Of A Good Thing
I never thought I’d
reach my Auntie Anne’s limit.
I did. It was six.

On [Im]Maturity
I don’t care how old
I am, I still squee! over
Disney-themed snowglobes.

On Spiritual Awakening
I have seen the light,

and yea, it is called cheese curds.
Rejoice and Be Glad.

On Self-Serve Frozen Yogurt Stands
Give me one reason
not to fill this thing up and
walk away. Yeah. Bye.

**

P.S. Thanks for the all the reply-shout-outs! I can’t believe it worked! You guys really are out there! This blog has a point!

cow cheese, YA Fic, and shout-outs

Since dinner was just completely unsatisfying (grilled chicken and steamed broccoli rarely is), I’m sitting here eating the other half of the turkey-and-Meunster-cheese sandwich that I bought from the library’s cafe today. That then sat in my purse for the rest of the afternoon.

…I know, I’m gross. The thing is, I’ll withstand just about any degree of deli-meat-lukewarmness if it’s slapped on a soft pumpernickel roll and paired with yummy, buttery cow cheese.

Aaaand now it is gone.

***

I’ve been on kind of a YA Fiction kick lately. Since I’ve been thinking about becoming a Teen Librarian, I figured I should probably make up for all the lost years I spent ignoring Laurie Halse Anderson and David Levithan in favor of short-short fiction and erasures.

Here’s what I’ve managed to read so far:

The Storm in the Barn by Matt Phelan

Paper Towns and An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson

Uglies, Pretties, and Specials by Scott Westerfeld (I’m still debating whether I’ll keep reading Extras)

All in all, I’m blown away with the quality of current YA Fic. This is not the YA Fiction I remember reading when I was actually a Young Adult (although to be fair, I was drawn chiefly to books with hot pink covers back then). These books were far from fluffy, forgettable, or easy. More importantly, some of them (that would be Paper Town and Uglies) resonated with me, captured my imagination, and shocked my intellect back to life, more so than most of the books I read in college.

I guess what I’m saying is, I’m sold. If being a Teen Librarian means I get to support the community of authors that produce such great books, and help young adults (and old adults!) discover them, I’m sold. In fact, YOU should all go out and read all of these right now.

Right now I’m back in the land of Regular Fiction with Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman. But I’m thinking Looking for Alaska (another book by John Green) and Geektastic! (a collection of short stories about teenage Nerd Life) are lined up next.

***

Shout out to Karen, Ilana, Abbey, Tintin, Caitlin, Katie, and Natalie (do you read my blog Natalie?). I miss you guys! What’s going on with all y’all?!

Sorry, Linds. I just saw you like, yesterday.

Why I’m a nerd

Why I’m a nerd:

I used the phrase “Joss is Boss” at a dinner party.

I read Terry Pratchett.

I get all teary-eyed when I hear the Shire theme from LOTR.

I depend on Digg as my primary news source.

I recently pre-ordered a CD called This Machine Pwns n00bs

I read so. Many. Webcomics. For instance,
Basic Instructions
cyanide and happiness
Girls With Slingshots
Questionable Content
Sam and Fuzzy
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cartoons (click the red button!)
Subnormality
Super Effective
xkcd

I know what Howl’s Moving Castle is.

I know what the fifth element is.

And I know what sectumsempra would do to you.

My nerd boyfriend and I are going to get a Corgi puppy and name him or her Einstein, after the genius dog in Cowboy Bebop.

Yeah, I said Cowboy Bebop.

You love it.

For the Jameses

James works in the library with me. He’s a supervisor of the maintenance staff — they fix the squeaking doors, re-wire the flickering ceiling light, clean up the bathrooms, replace locks, investigate mysterious stains, what have you. This is the first thing he ever said to me:

No reading at your desk!

I looked up, caught in the act (although to be fair, I was reading a scholarly journal, which is technically allowed). He was grinning. I grinned back.

James is an elderly black man who’s been working for the library for over 30 years.

He’s sprightly, though, and mentally, sharp as a tack. His teeth carry stains, probably from smoking. His fingernails are dry from work. His nail beds are just a mess.

When he found out I’d been hired, James found me in the computer lab and congratulated me in person. He gushed about how insanely awesome it was to work for the library. I asked him: What was your job before you started here?

He’d been a lot of things. A truck driver, for one, making a weekly trip to California and back to New Jersey, delivering I-forget-what.

He’d been the head of maintenance at a morgue in Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia. Yes, he said, he saw dead bodies all the time. He had to cremate them, and move them from freezer to freezer. He chuckled at my grimace.

But he’d been a soldier first.

James is a Vietnam War veteran. But he doesn’t dwell on the war. He credits the service for taking him to amazing places: Thailand, India, Taiwan, Australia, New Zealand, the Philippines. He remembers the Philippines so fondly that he donated enough books to a school there to fill up their entire library. He brags frequently about the plaque he received in thanks for his gift.

I’m thinking about James and his story today. And I’m thinking about all of our veterans, hoping that they all understand how much they are appreciated, all the time — even by reluctant patriots like myself.

you’re looking at the blog of a person with a JOB.

Almost everyone who reads this blog already knows this already, but I’ll post the announcement here, just because I love saying it:

The library offered me a job.

As in, the Director of the library pulled me out of my shift, sat me down in his office, and said “We’d like to offer you a position.”

I can’t believe I didn’t hug him and jump up and down and scream YOU’RE MY NEW BEST FRIEND OKAY? Instead I very calmly (but enthusiastically) listened to the details and answered his questions about hours and availability (HOURS! AND! AVAILABILITY!!!), nodding often and speaking very little.

The details are kind of underwhelming. The job is:

• a temp position — from now until the end of February. (But there were hints that if the library’s economic situation doesn’t change too drastically, I could be offered a permanent position at the end!)
• not much of a status change; I’m still a lowly clerk, cutting crafts and checking out books.
• getting me into three more departments: the Computer Lab/IT, Circulation, and Administration. I’ll be working a couple hours a week in each department as well as in Youth Services.
• 20-25 hours a week, so it’s a part-time job, and the pay isn’t much, but honestly, it feels like I won the lottery.

Dudes, this is my first post-college job. Oh wait…OK, this is my first post-college job that doesn’t involve making sandwiches. I can’t believe this is happening. The library’s already given me so much. I first met Alice and the Duchess and the White Rabbit in the pages of a library book. The first copy of Rent I listened to was property of the library. Then I graduated from college and came home feeling lost, wondering idly about becoming a librarian but too paralyzed by my TeacherFail to move forward. And the library gave me experience. It gave me Real Voices From LibraryLand. And now here I am, sure of myself, knowing with 100% of myself that I want to be a librarian, I AM a librarian, I always have been.

And now it’s given me a job. I simply can’t believe it, that this is my story. I haven’t felt like the world was busted open this wide since I decided to drop my Ed major. I’m beginning to feel like — wait for it — I’m gonna make it after all.

State of the Union

So,  here’s a massive update to make up for the lack of regular posting. You’re WELCOME.

Bagel Place:
My last day at Bagel Place came and went without much fanfare. I kept the shirt. I really miss the free Asiago bagels and Iced Mochas.  I don’t miss the getting up at 4:45 and the Burning Myself On The Panini Press.

Volunteering at the Library:
Oh my GOD you guys, I love working in a library. Even though the stuff I’m doing isn’t even that exciting. I check out and re-shelve books,  register people for classes, and sometimes I answer the phone. Mostly, though, since I’m in Youth Services, I do a lot of craft prep. I cut out crowns for the Where the Wild Things Are event that happened last Thursday. I traced acorn tops for a fall-themed  story hour and craft for 2- and 3-year olds. I counted out 70 pairs of googly eyes for the “Batty About Books” field trip event happening tomorrow. And I’m okay with that.

The best part, though, is when people mistake me for an actual librarian and ask me questions about books and resources. Today I suggested the Ramona Quimby books to a mom whose daughter loves the “Amber Brown” series, and when she came to the checkout with an armful of books, I felt like a total rock star. I love when patrons ask me to look up a title because not only do I love familiarizing myself with our collection, I also actually enjoy helping people. Who would have thought?!

I decided to volunteer because I knew that after education didn’t turn out to be what I thought, I needed to know for sure that I understood what librarians do, and if that job was for me. I guess I’m confirming, officially, that I really want this. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve decided I want to concentrate on working in public libraries, and I definitely want to focus on Youth Services (especially teen and tween services). I’m so overjoyed that the more I learn about this job, the more I just want to DO it. I only wish I didn’t have to go to grad school to get it.

Speaking of which:
Oooh, remember that novel of a post where I went on and on about waiting a year to even apply? I found out pretty fast that I’m not going to need a whole year to decide if I want to be a librarian (try a week). And that a lot of people in my position rush into grad school with not-too-much practical experience in the first place, so I’m already sort of ahead of the game with that. AND that the whole application process is not as arduous as I thought it was, and that I should probably just buck up and do it.

My new Big Stressful Issue is that I’m just not going to get into grad school at all. I don’t know if my GPA (a 3.0 even, FYI) is good enough, especially for the schools who only use your GPA from your last two years in college (WHY?). Junior year is when my whole life sort of fell apart, and it definitely shows in my GPA for that year. My mom insists that the overall pattern is favorable — A’s and B’s freshman and sophomore years, BIG CATASTROPHE OF A JUNIOR YEAR, beast-it-out 4.0 average for senior year. I guess I see her point. I’m just worried that admissions people are gonna be like, Oh I see this girl doesn’t even academically qualify, cool, let’s just toss this application ’cause it’ll make the process that much simpler. Wah!

Job Searching:
I haven’t been looking for full-time work much, because I’m not exactly sure what I’ll do with that job now that I’m so jazzed on being a librarian. I mean, by the time I actually land an interview and get hired somewhere it might be time for me to start grad school, you know?

IF I EVEN GET IN THAT IS!!! !!!!

Food, Food Mindset, and Exercise:
This section is left intentionally blank.

(A little standardized test joke there for you guys.)

(Also, I won’t bore you guys long with my food/exercise lamentations. I’m not sure why, but I really got knocked off course around the time that I started at Bagel Place, and it’s been more difficult than I thought to smack myself back into the right mindset and behaviors. THERE. THAT’S IT.)

“Extracurricular Activities”:
I tewtally went to New York with Linds to watch Ilana’s band perform at this awesome club that completely looks like The Bronze. Highlights: learning 100% more about baseball than I knew last week, getting to see Ilana perform again, creating the plot of a Lifetime movie around Ilana’s cat’s alleged eating disorder, eating lunch at an awesome Greek restaurant, and a room tiled with 2822 records.

In other news, yesterday Matt and I did the coolest things to do in New Jersey on a Wednesday night. We ate Mexican food, went bowling, and watched Glee. I learned that I bowl like a freak. And then we found the Phillies game (just to check the score) and I ended up watching the whole thing! It was pretty exciting. There was a lot of spitting. And, um, yay Phillies! I feel like kind of a fraud of saying that because I’ve never followed or even pretended to follow baseball, but I am happy for all the people I know who are lifelong fans and stuff. ::blows noisemaker, throws confetti!::

Once again, you’re welcome for this textbook of an entry. LIKE YOU WERE DOING ANYTHING COOLER.

Just hear those hay bells jing-a-ling

Hey! Check out the scariest thing I’ve ever personally produced!

I got the idea for the toothpick teeth from Food Network Magazine, of all places, and I don’t think I had any idea how creepy it was going to be until it was finished. Then my mom got mad at me because I used all of her toothpicks. Aheh. Heh.

Here’s Matthew laboring over his Bender punkin:

You’ll notice I don’t have an “after” picture. That’s because, um, Matt’s came out so freakishly awesome, it would burn your eyes to gaze upon it. ::cough:: That’s totally why I didn’t take a picture, and certainly NOT because Bender came out looking like a ghost monkey waving a stick around. Or because after a few minutes the whole thing collapsed into itself, rendering Matt’s pumpkin actually much scarier than mine.

P.S. I wish we had been cool enough to get our pumpkins in a field via hayride, but we showed up at the farmstead at 6:30, not realizing that hayrides have hours of operation limited to the daytime.

P.P.S. Did anyone else know that Springdale Farms hires like, anyone? Including nine-year-olds?! The girl who rung us up was LITERALLY nine years old. For once I’m not exaggerating. I spent the whole purchase whispering “THIS. DOESN’T. FEEL. RIGHT.” to Matt, who kicked me instead of helping me call Child Services.

***

I found a puppy.

He’s mine.

I shall name him Rodrigo.

growth by centimeters

So I went MIA from my blog, and my only entry was to lament about what is now referred to as Rock Bottom Day.

Are you surprised to hear that I have an announcement?

I quit at Bagel Place. My last day is Monday, a 6:00 – 3:30 shift, OF COURSE.

I realized pretty quickly that although the job was a decent way of making money, it was ultimately just taking energy away from the things in my life that I want to put the most effort into pursuing: grad school, more advanced work experience, a career as a librarian, and healthy eating behaviors (ah, Bagel Place’s effect on my diet…that’s another entry for another time).

I’m not going to be making money anymore. But at this time more than ever, I don’t really need to be making money. I have an opportunity to be picky about my job. I’m definitely gonna take it.

I have a confession: I suck at being a part-time employee. I don’t know what it is about my personality that causes me to completely lose any semblance of responsibility or accountability when I’m hired on an hourly wage. My jobs usually come to an end much less gracefully than this. My first job ever was at a certain discount store for housewares that will go unnamed, and I would regularly call out with fake excuses. Instead of quitting, I just stopped showing up for my shifts.

Target was the same way, and one time I simply walked out of the store fifteen minutes into my shift. I was written up for that one. My Big Disaster at HLC was when I didn’t show up (or call to let them know I wasn’t coming), turned off my phone, and went to Grounds for Sculpture with Matt. We were interrupted when my mom called Matt’s phone to tell him that HLC had called her, asking where I was. I’m not really sure why I wasn’t fired but needless to say, no one really liked me after that.

I’m not proud of my track record. But I’m finally ‘fessing up to it because I honestly think it’s behind me. Even though I only stayed at Bagel Place for 20 days, I was totally beast. My manager called me “the best trainee ever.” I showed myself that I can resist the urge to call out (even if I have nothing better to do)  and go in and do my job even when I don’t want to. And when I realized it wasn’t working out, I faced my fear of confrontation and did it in person (although I was tempted to text message it and hope for the best).

For once I’m walking out of a part-time job situation and not feeling like I royally screwed up, or that I can never walk into the place again. I’d call that growth. By centimeters maybe, but growth nonetheless.

Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Very Bad Day

Today, I was awakened at 6:40 by a phone call from my manager begging me to come in early for my 8 AM shift. I wanted to impress her and hopefully get exonerated from closing, so I showed up at 7:00. (SPOILER: I WAS NOT EXONERATED FROM CLOSING.)

The first thing I did at work was NOT get greeted or thanked by anyone. The next thing I did was to accidentally dip my shoulder into a tub of cream cheese icing. Being in a rush to re-stock some dumb forks or something, I just wiped it off and hoped for the best.

And of course our new District Manager was there, and when he jumped behind the line to help take orders, I anti-impressed him by not knowing which bagels were egg or plain (THEY LOOK THE SAME).

The first thing anyone said to me as soon as it slowed down a bit was “What the hell happened to your shirt?” Before I had a chance to sheepishly mumble an answer, someone else chimed it “It looks like someone blew a load all over your arm.” CHARMING. I walked away.

Then I messed up a refund because I can’t do math.

Then I dropped my pineapple all over the floor during break.

Then I had to clean the restrooms.

Cleaning public restrooms is a truly humbling experience. Not in a good way.

Then right before closing, my two co-workers completely bailed on me, without even telling me where they were going, to go outside and smoke a cigarette with two other employees who weren’t working today. I don’t know why this made me so furious. They came back eventually, but I still felt ostracized and taken advantage of for some reason.

Then I finally finished closing and I had to wait for like 40 minutes while my co-worker counted my drawer. Then they told me my drawer was almost $9 over the proper amount and I needed to be written up.

Then I drove home just as rush hour was beginning, which is just always lovely.

Then I came home and Fox News was on TV.

Wishing, and hoping, and thinking

I’m wishing…

…for fall weather to make its comeback. What’s with the sudden Monsoon Humidity? Me no likey.

…for Halloween plans. I have a kickass costume idea and I want to show it off!

…for an Etsy shopping spree, for a new haircut, and to finally get past this weight loss plateau that I’ve been on for the past 3 weeks.

…that people realize soon that President Obama has no plans whatsoever to transform our country into a Fascist regime.

I’m hoping…

…to be paid by Bagel Place eventually. I clocked over 40 hours in my first week and haven’t seen any cashes. What’s up with that?!

…that all of the nonfat iced mochas I’ve been consuming at work are actually 3 points apiece and not secretly, like, 8.

…to come to terms with this awkward stage of discontent with my life. I’m so ready, mentally, to be independent, but it’s just not practically or financially possible.

I’m thinking…

…that volunteering in Youth Services at the library is gonna make it so much harder to tolerate working at Bagel Place.

…that the [delicious] [freshly baked] chocolate chip cookie I splurged on today was totally worth it.

…that Glee is the sunshine of my life right now.